just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This house was built for laser tag.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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