Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
