I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
