I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
