She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
