no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
