ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned