dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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