you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
