You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
