Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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