I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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