Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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