hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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