I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
