saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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