I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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