You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize