You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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