I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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