I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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