he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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