you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
