is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
