I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
