I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize