I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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