i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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