wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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