You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize