Say something about gay babies.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
