I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
