ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize