I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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