if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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