I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
