Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
