i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
