I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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