So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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