HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
