i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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