i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
