I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize