some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
