THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
high people should be assigned attendants
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
