Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
