did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
