I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
