it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sorry my hands just texted you
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
