I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We're too hungover to prance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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