I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
