I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
