Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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