Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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