i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
