do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
