Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
