I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
