just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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