I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
